**this post “Nurse Abuse” has adult content that may not be suitable for younger audience’s***
So this story is true and this has happened to me more than once in my nursing career. I had a couple that I took care of for around a year. The husband, Mr, Dove, I’ll call him, He first arrived from our county jail. He was in a wheelchair and didn’t walk very well. I’m sure he was in jail for something minor, I didn’t ask because everyone deserves to be treated with respect, just my opinion, and the building was still under lockdown. So the guards that were assigned to him were not allowed in the building.
They had to stay in their cars in the parking lot just in case he escaped out the window.? Which, again my opinion, was impossible because he was unable to walk well. I’m assuming that they finally got that and they released him under the care of the facility doctor. His wife, however, came to us from the hospital and she had Covid. So when she first arrived to the facility they were not allowed in the same room because of quarantine status. After she had gotten better they began to room together. I always thought that he was a little strange, but never paid it no mind. He would just look at me with a weird look on his face when I would enter their room.
One afternoon I’m sitting at my desk, he rolled up, kinda sat there, and looked around. He didn’t see anyone so he started talking. He also was hard of hearing so I decided to get a peace of paper to write down what he couldn’t hear me say. (which I did often for him.).
He said, “You know me and my wife, I believe are leaving and getting an apartment”. I said, “ well that’s nice for you guys. I’m sure your wife will enjoy that.” He said, “yea but I think we need help there. I wanted to know if you wanted the job” I said, “no I enjoy my job here I don’t need another one, Mr. Dove”. He sat up in his chair and look around again.” He said, “ we would pay you of course” kinda whispering. Then I wrote on a peace of paper, “I’m not needing another job.”
He said, “ you know me and my wife no longer having sex.” He sat back up in his chair and looked around. I thought to myself, “ well this conversation turned 360 degrees real quick, didn’t it” I wrote, “I don’t think I need to know that information” but he just kept talking and talking. His idea of what a home nurse was suppose to be was to make sure he was satisfied and to take care of his wife…. (I saved all the nasty details that he was trying to express to me out of this post).
I put my hand up in his face and said, “stop”. As he sat there with a smirk on his face. He looked as though I would actually say yes to a bizarre sexual idea that he had in his head. I wrote big as day to make sure he could read it, “Sir first whatever your fucking dreaming would never fucking happen.” Then at the bottom of the page I wrote, “I’m a fucking Lesbian” This was probably one of my top five moments as a nurse. I had a huge smile on my face and handed him the sheet of paper. He had a huge smile on his face when he took it. Then he read it. I had never seen a man’s smile turn to disappointment and then confusion so fast.
I then stood up with a look on my face that he knew he messed up and just walked away. He never spoke of such things with me again. I walked away with a huge smile on my face though. The abuse some nurses have to listen to just because we are women.
Disclaimer:
All names have been changed for the safety and rights of the patients involved.
I’m a correctional RN, now in management. Obviously this kind of stuff happens in all fields, but Jail and Prison inmates…. some of the straight up disgusting things that have been said to me, ugh. Do they really think it’s gonna work for them in any way? Ick Nice thing about when I was with the WI DOC – it’s a state felony now to assault or threaten a nurse there now. So many of these guys started catching more charges for nurse abuse!
I can only imagine the hell ur put thru, I’ll be sending positive vibes your way hang in there
I will hope it does deter him from future accounts
Sorry for you. Cheap men like him spoil the image of entire men community and affect working women too. It’s sad that people celebrate women’s day in status and social media posts but never look into the real status and betterment the society needs.
Haha. Anytime. Ty for liking mine as well. We gotta support each other in this life, it literally is free. I’ve found I get the most support from strangers so thank you. Also, I hope we can be friends one day. I really enjoy your writing. It was very informative and raw. I like works that give me a different perspective. And believe it or not, this happens to men too. Happened to be a few times in life. That Quit Quo Pro shit, was too naive to realize it was a problem. I honestly enjoyed it in some capacity. But, honestly I was manipulated
Yes I get more support from strangers as well and with the ex’s I have I’m sure it happens to men also women can be scandalous
Haha. I wasn’t coming at you. I hope you know that. And are you really a lesbian? Cuz I would be disappointed if you were 🥹
Of course thanks for reading my post
And yes I’m really a lesbian haha
I was wondering the same thing, because it would have been epic either way.
Wow. This is a crazy story. I have tremendous respect for nurses. My mom and some of my favorite humans are RN’s. However, I’ve been hospitalized many times and I must admit; I have found many of my nurses attractive. Never acted on it of course. Some of them, the younger ones def flirted with me. But, it was consensual of course. Some of my fondest memories of being hospitalized are experiences I’ve had with nurses. They are the heartbeat of the medical profession. Kudos for you for sticking up to him. I hate bullies of all sorts. There all insecure scared cowards. Not that it matters but he probably had a button down there any way. Love ❤️.
I have never took offense to flirting but this guy was on a whole other level.
Haha. Yeah. I totally get that. Women, well actually girls these days don’t understand the concept of a man complementing them or being friendly. Most of the times I do that, yes I’m flirting. But, sometimes it’s just that; a compliment. In my day, if you flirted with a girl they would take it as a compliment. But the climate of the world today, everyone’s so quick to claim harassment. And, rightfully so. But if I approach you kindly and with respect and honor your boundaries. I don’t see the problem. But my humble opinion of course. And no means no, of course.
Yes I agree but sometimes I do have to put my foot down .. hehe
Adonis where u hiding hope all is well. Don’t know why but I thought of you this morning.
Well I do have great moments that far out way the bad moments.
Sorry, it went down that way. It must have been pretty annoying😫 but the comeback spoke volume😊. You passed the message loud and clear!
It really was. I don’t usually take offence to someone flirting with me but he was just coming at me on a whole other level so I had to do something about it. Thanks so much.