Confession. I really started this blog for I guess selfish reasons. I started it to really let my personal situations get out of my head. More like a journal to my life experiences. After all the people I have lost over the last four years I needed a release from all the sadness that I was holding onto and this blog has been that release. I have decided that I needed to think bigger. I need to help all those nurses out there that haven’t had an outlet to release all the hurt, pain, and loss. I’m not sure how I can help but I’m going to figure it out. I mean my own journey to healing I have found that I had bottled up so much hurt and loss that I was headed down a dangerous road that was leading me down an even darker highway.

Writing has been so therapeutic and eye opening. I have learned that I’m not alone, that I’m not useless, that I have so much love to give, and that’s why I went into nursing in the first place. It wasn’t to earn a lot of money, for sure. I thought I would be helping people instead of filling out paperwork. I thought that I would make a difference in this big old world.

Over the years it hasn’t felt like I was helping anyone. Fighting upper management, fighting Covid, cancer, or some other diseases, it felt like a large mountain that I was climbing alone. I didn’t feel like I was giving out anything but my own resentment. The only joyfulness I felt was helping patient’s with small things, like getting them a card for their own family members as a surprise or getting a patient a new pair of house shoes for their birthday.

Another point I would like to make, nurse’s in general are not supportive of each other in my experience. They are very vindictive, malicious, and some are cold hearted. I don’t feel like it’s a very caring profession when it comes to nurse’s lifting up other nurse’s. I have been lied on, schemed against, plotted maliciously about in the many years that I have been a nurse. Honestly, I wish it was different. I wish we would lift each other up, help each other out, and cheer each other on with smile on our faces. Maybe it’s because we do hang on to our hurt, emotional pain, and grief. I’m Not sure. I can only give you my opinion or perspective. I’m not sure How I can help other nurse’s but I can’t be the only one, right?

22 thoughts on “Confession

  1. No, definitely not just you and not just nurses. Hurt people hurt people but hurt women reaaaaaaally hurt women.

    I think maybe what I’ve been hearing might help you. It’s like, if you can’t find your community, make it. All you really have to do is show up where you’re at, be who you are, keep doing it, and you, and later we and us – we’ll figure it out as we find each other and help each other stumble along. So, you’re already doing it. I’m glad you’re here and I really appreciate your stories and perspectives. You’ve accomplished your goals with me getting to read your thoughts and stories, and who knows who else any of us can stumble into here and there. Definitely keep up this good work and more will come or become clear I’m sure of it. 💙

  2. The question atheists can not answer and don’t dare to ask is “is atheism a logical fallacy?”. Atheism is a logical fallacy that assumes God is the religious idea of the creator of the creation to conclude wrongly no creator exists because a particular idea of God doesn’t exist. I am not asking you to believe me, but to discover the truth for yourself. To understand atheism is a logical fallacy you have to understand the evolution of the species is not an argument against the idea that the universe was created from an intelligence superior to oneself. To end the war in Ukraine the discovery that atheism is a logical fallacy has to be news. It is important that you understand I am not asking you to agree with me and I am suffering the most severe and devastating censorship in history in a social media era for many years trying to save lives with knowledge.

    I would like you to take a look at the responses from atheists to understand atheism is a lie that looks like a lie defended without any arguments. Tragically the victims are innocent and vulnerable children that are deceived and brought up in households where the truth doesn’t matter.

  3. It takes courage to open up about your own struggles.

    Writing can indeed be a therapeutic and eye-opening experience, connecting you with others who share similar challenges. Keep sharing your story and spreading positivity. 💪🌟🙏

  4. I think you should keep writing about your experiences. This is something we do for ourselves and it can be considered a form of self-care. It’s too bad the nursing community isn’t more supportive of its own. I assume this is due to the high stress nature of the daily work and competition for better positioning within the organization?

    All I know is that the job you do is absolutely essential and appreciated–perhaps so woven into the structure of daily life that the important role you inhabit is often taken for granted. You are helping. You are needed. It may not seem like it, but with every little thing you do, you are making a difference–with your heart’s intention.

  5. I’m sure many, including myself consider you a saint. I appreciate the fact that there’s someone like you caring for the sick. Keep your head up. I know you’re appreciated. Stay well my friend.☮️

  6. I’ve had similar issues as a nurse too, but I try not to be that way… its awful being the brunt of a “nurses eat their young” situation… I try to be inclusive and supportive of other nurses, and hopefully my reach/example will get further the higher I move up in the ranks.

  7. I find it interesting that when I say that I’d prefer that God be female, women are absolutely horrified. But all the metaphors about Our Father are nonsensical because it begs the question: does God have a penis. So what exactly are male characteristics? If God gave birth to everything then that is a Female trait. If God nurtures and soothes, then that is a female trait. So in human jargon, God is female. And when it comes to the parasites and predators of nature, it should be vicious Father Nature and not Mother Nature. Sure, hug a tree, but never hug a virus or an infectious bacterium or deadly fungus from Mother Nature’s finest inventory. Oh and by the way many plants make toxins. So many beautiful plants are trying to kill you. Oh, I think that explains why giving dying flowers is considered a romantic gift — a gift from the male ungrown pollen grain to the dead ovary of a flower. I know an igneous rock who will take your confession and with ignorant glee will explode with joy because its patron Sisyphus can finally roll a boulder up and over a hill.

  8. Blogging is definitely helpful, it clears our minds of the fog and helps us makes sense of our worlds.
    As for nursing, it’s so sad that a profession that’s all about helping others is so toxic amongst itself.
    Console yourself that you’re not one of them, toxic people are generally unhappy with themselves. They victimise others to make themselves feel better about their unhappiness.
    What goes around comes around as my Mum would say…you reap what you sow.
    From you blogs I can tell that you’re a good person with good intentions and a warm heart.

  9. Nurses do so much, when I was in the ICU they made me laugh and smile, making the whole time there so much easier in a tough situation…thank you. It is unfortunate that people in such a demanding job can’t be more supportive of each other the job already seems so tough as it is.

  10. I love this quote, only I’d change it to Women!

    “I have been lied on, schemed against, plotted maliciously about in the many years that I have been a nurse. “(Woman)

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