I have been on a healing journey for probably around a year or maybe a bit longer. I realized that a lot of the things that has happened to me in my past was mostly of my own doing. Probably karma. I have learned that because I was hanging on to all the trauma that I have endured in my life and it was projecting into my physical world.
I have worked so hard trying to figure out how to release the hurt, pain, and suffering that I was feeling that I was self sabotaging quite a lot. And I have tried so many mentalities. From a psychologist to hypnotherapy. I have tried group counseling to meditation. I have done it on my own and with professionals. And, I feel like I have grown so much but I feel the itch of change. Maybe it is time for change?
I can feel the change in the air and cut it with a knife. I’m not even sure if I can explain it, really. I’m not sure if it’s boredom or something else. I just feel like I’m in this routine of going to work, coming home, taking off a few days, and then back to work.
Not sure if I should just pick up a new hobby or maybe just give it some time. Don’t get me wrong, on my days off I do have fun, but am I just so used to drama at work, that I’m itching for something to happen? Is this a thing? I guess I have been in “fight or flight” mode so long that when nothing happens it feels wrong? I really enjoy my peace or do I? Honestly, I can’t tell anymore. Maybe I just need to heal more? If anyone has some input it would be much appreciated. I just feel something is going to either change in the air or the bottom is going to fall out?
Perhaps a change of scenery and people if you’re able. I know that would benefit me greatly. I don’t mean to sound selfish, just spitballing. Keep your heart and mind open. Much love to you.
Thanks for sharing this idea
Hi Patty, sorry to hear you’ve been battling with yourself.
You know I’ve been there an have learnt to trust my gut instincts, many of my posts are about how to better manage myself.
I try not to give advice, it can be construed as patronising. But as you’ve asked:
What works for me is to focus on the basics; Rest, Exercise & Diet (RED), coupled with keeping my stress levels as low as possible, thus minimising my cortisol levels and ensuring my fight/flight/freeze responses are maintained as best I can.
I try to understand how my central nervous system works so I can attempt to control it. It doesn’t always work, but 80% of the time I can stop myself reacting to events I have no control over, other than how I respond.
As for hobbies, they help to keep me occupied rather than ruminating over the negative stuff.
Hope this helps.
You don’t trust stability and are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Hi Patty, 🙏
I think I can see certain similarities with my experiences which is why I’m feeling bold enough to share my thought here.
Remember, change is a natural part of life, and it doesn’t always have to be dramatic. Sometimes, it’s the small shifts and the ongoing healing that lead to a fulfilling and balanced life. Trust your instincts and allow yourself the time and space to evolve at your own pace.
Wishing you lots of happiness. 🙏
This resonates with me… Healing does take a while and is unique for each and everyone of us. For some it may take longer and yet for others the process may be swift. If truth be told, like you, I did try everything when I was going through a difficult moment in my younger days. I must say… Change is GOOD! After all that’s been said and done, I didn’t turn out so bad 🙂 I continued to Fight as I took Flight and never gave up on myself.
Be kind to yourself, you are on track and you too will slowly emerge once again as good as new!
I totally understand, but you aren’t alone! It seems like there are some who are sensitive to energies and when I look back, I see things that happened during the last decade that changed me. Im a flight or fight person and this was something I couldn’t hide from.It was like breathing fire and drowning at the same time. I’ll never be the same. All I can is is when I feel like you describe, I’ve trained myself to breathe because I realize that I’ve stopped. 3.5 years of therapy helped too. Radical surrender and acceptance. I wish you a healing journey.
I feel you! I’ve been restless over the last decade.
“Looks like the winds are changing.”
“Ah, change is good.”
“Yeah, but it’s not easy. Going back means I have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for too long.”
(Whack on the head)
“Ouch! Jeez, what was that for?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past!”
“Yeah, but it still hurts.”
“Oh, yes. The past can hurt, but as I see, you can either run from it… or learn from it.”
(Another whack, but this time, it was avoided)
“You see? So, what are you going to do?”
“First… Let me take your stick!”
Words of wisdom from Rafiki from The Lion King
Hi Patty,
Shawn has a point about one of the many benefits of blogging. So there’s that.
Having been stuck in fight/flight for many years, it took a while for me to get my body out of that reaction to stress, and it can still go there and yeah, it’s a pretty messed up feeling. Hard exercise has done a lot, too. I think you’re on the right track with the various treatments and practices you’ve been doing. No doubt one will “click” for you. Hobbies are also important as they help to further delineate work from play, easing us from fight/flight.
And, on the bigger end of the change scale, if switching jobs were an option, maybe that could help bring more “joy in service,” as you obviously care a lot for people and that is so needed in the world. It’s a pretty big move to take as it affects a lot of things, but it’s also something that helped me.
In the meantime, try to be gentle with yourself. And have some fun.
Hiya, TNP!
My two cents…
I think blogging has helped me to some extent, giving me the opportunity to get some things off my chest.
I think the bigger challenge is letting go of the shit you can’t do anything about is a good place to start. If you cannot change something then you have to let it go and worry about the things you CAN change. Worrying about things that you cannot control is wasted energy that could be out towards happiness or other things in life.
Hang in there – it’ll get better.
Well said.