Me taking a job seven or so hours from my home town was hard and doing it by myself was another thing. So the last month in my home town was really difficult, but I set my mind on leaving and wasn’t going to back down. It’s probably the Aries in me but once I set my mind on doing something it’s done. So the week I was off I was at my home packing up boxes, working still at the other facility, and kinda of paused on my healing. I was just so busy. Also going through all the things in my home was stressful. A lot of memories to sift through, but I put it in the back of my mind and just started throwing things in boxes. I knew I would probably have to make two trips.
The first one wasn’t bad, nice views and I was getting use to being on my own. The last week I was there was hard on me. Having to say goodbye to everyone I knew and everything I knew was scary. I can remember crying so hard and then harder the further I got down the road. I was driving my little SUV with a trailer on the back loaded down with what I was taking and it was raining. And, I had never driven that far with that big of a load. On top of one load was another, me crying most of the way. I had to pull over several times just to catch my breath. I never felt so alone as I did that day.
Well, I finally made it to my destination. Probably looking like I had been ran over by my SUV instead of driving it. I was exhausted. I could do anything else. So, I parked the car next to the cabin I rented and just went inside, made a pallet on the floor and cried myself to sleep. The next morning I got up and went outside to look at the mountain of things that I needed to unpack. Pulled my self esteem back up and just started. Sometimes you just need to start. Took me most of the day and the next, but it was starting to feel like a home. Not sure if it was my home yet, but it was a start.
To be continued…